Thanks google!

For helping me find what I was really looking for:








For dispelling a common myth:









For putting everything I need in one place:










For answering the tough questions:

























And for always knowing what I'm thinking, before I even say it:

Ad Stuff: Sea Kittens: Bawww

Okay, with this, and the earlier Shark Post, I am officially creating a 'Fishies' Tag. Epic.

Alright, so the always lulzworthy PETA has launched another brilliant trolling campaign. I'll let some adweek blog explain it for me:

"In one of the most ambitious rebranding efforts ever, PETA has embarked on a plan to refer to fish as "sea kittens." Why? Because who would want to snare, gut and chow down on a sea kitten?"

Epic, right? The adweek dude thinks this is stupid, but I think it's pro as fuck. I tend to subscribe to the Maddox school of vegetarianism, but I still think this is some epic trolling. My pops is a vegetarian, yet still eats fish, and it has long been agreed that most people are simply interested in looking out for the 'cute animals.' I forget who pointed out the horrible irony of dolphin-safe tuna, but it stands true. Anyway, I don't care about that shit. What I care about is advertising and trolling, and this has both.

The website, which is a stitch and a half, has stories about sea kittens:








And you can even make your own:









Great, now I don't want to eat fish, I just want have sex with them.

I like this shit, and think it's funny, but not suprisingly, some assholes from Canada don't feel the same way. What does suprise me is that the good folks at Encylopedia Dramatica don't really like it, and have responded accordingly:












This response suprises me, since I see this as prime trolling. Peta has been annoying people about stupid shit, and arguing in favor of ridiculous shit for so long, and pissing off millions in the process. Epic. Also, from an advertising standpoint, I like the optimism to rebrand anything, even fish. A plus for effort from this unpaid intern.

In related News:

JESUS CHRIST IT'S A SEA KITTEN--- GET IN THE CAR!!!













(image credit goes to something awful, photoshop phriday )

Internets Culture: Moar Cowbell

Peep this shit, fools, and be amazed.

Ad Stuff: Burger King kicks even more ass than I thought

If there's anything I love it's shitty food. I also love shitty movies, but I feel like I've been scooped on that front by some dude here who reviewed the Unborn, focusing entirely on the star's epic booty. Oh, I also love epic booty. But returning to my original point, I love shitty food. As a result, I'm sort of a fan of Burger King. I don't eat there very often, but whenever I do I always think it's pretty rad. The soft drink recipes are always good for a lol, and the general demeanor (especially born out by any and all ads they run not feature that asshole Puff Daddy) is that they don't really give a shit. The stuff with The King is brilliant and a great example of when advertising enters into culture in a way that is not lame and abrasive ( See: Whassup, Got Milk, Where's the Beef etc.)

Anyway, enough silly bullshit. Burger King's agency, Crispin Porter + Bogusky, has taken this FGSFDS attittude to the next level, branching out from lols into lulz and pwnage. Their new(ish) facebook app allows facebook users to delete friends in exchange for Whopper gift certificates. This shit is epic. Everybody knows that facebook is crap and forces you to be friends with a bunch of people from freshman year who you don't care about anymore. Burger King helps you solve that problem. The only catch is that it informs the former friends that they have been sacrificed for what is probably a pretty lackluster burger. Oh well.

Now, Ad Week updated this story saying that facebook starting bawwing about this and forced Burger King to end their updates and blah blah blah blah. It was still an epic idea and probably the only worthwhile facebook application I have ever heard of. Props to you Burger King, for being the rare client willing to risk being a total douche. Also Props to you, Crispin.

TL;DR-- Crispin Porter + Bogusky--- please hire me when I graduate and give me lots of money to be an asshole to strangers. Love, Josh

Gut Reaction: JESUSCHRIST IT'S A SHARK-- GET IN THE SUB

Apparently, sharks are coming to get us.









If this photo from the article is anything to go by, however, they are apparently straight for the knees of skinny jeans-wearing hipster scum, so there is a silver lining. I can see why this would scare some people but those of us who live every day like it's Shark Week have seen this coming for some time now and are prepared accordingly. For the rest of you, tough shit. I guess we can all take solace in the fact that it could be worse:


On the other hand, it could apparently be a lot better.

My advise? Stay out of the fucking water and don't look so much like a seal.

Steez: Fake Receipts

Fake receipts, the perfect accessory for any douchebag. Some website for dickbags is offering fake receipts, one dated for every Friday of the year, each showing a massive bank balance, indicating that you are totally rich. "What," you might well ask, "would be the point of such a thing?" Well don't worry-- dear reader, the good folks at custom reciepts have tha answer for you:

"Tired of being used as a drink-dispenser? Maybe if you were rich you’d have more luck.

Ever wanted people to think you’re rich? Just casually let them see your massive bank balance on one of our fake ATM receipts, with your name right on it.

Trying to impress that hottie at the bar? Money talks. Hand out your number on the back of one of our fake ATM receipts. They’re a players dream come true."

First of all, excellent use of the quote feature by me-- yes? Second of all 'a player's dream come true"? Really? All those players with no money, for whom the missing piece in a successful aquisition of pussy is a fake piece of paper. The whole website seems like a cross between a Maxim Magazine article on picking up chicks and one of those novelty joke item descriptions in the back of old kid magazines.

I am going to have to classify this as shit that will not get you fucked. I was going to say that this would be shit that may or may not get you fucked, but that would have required me to make a new tag, and also, while I've certainly associated with broads of a more mercenary nature, I find it difficult to believe that even the most financially motivated of these would be swayed by such a transparent play. Disregard that, I'm sure these work like a fucking charm.

Before you even ask, Helicopter Sex

So while cruising the Internets, I stumbled upon a sporadically lulzy site (more like shite, am I right?) called BeforeIDieIWantTo.org Guess what the site has users post? I feel like this is totally intrusive and epicly invasive. The standard answers are fall in love, have kids, travel the earth, and publish my novel. I feel likt if you weren't a cynical prick, you could infer that this means we're all striving towards the same goals in life. I'm in a bad mood though, so I'm in more of a mood to poke fun of these rubes. Here are some of the better entries, for the lulz.



There are the practical:









The creepy:









The stupid:
(I bet you do, horseface)








The Bawww:










And even the occasional epic win:

What I want to spend my life on.

As a leading young advertising intern, I often pause to reflect upon what ads I used to enjoy as a kid, especially when, as I now am, I am working on ads for children. In that spirit, here are a few spots I remember from my youth. The colors, duke, the colors!





I really don't remember these commercials being so shitty. What's wrong with them, you ask? Everything. Everything is wrong with them.

Current Faves in Hip-Hop

I haven't blogged in a while because I've been busy fighting off Super Mutants and Talon Company Mercs in Fallout 3, the most epic shit in history. This isn't a game review site, but I'll just go ahead and give it an A, becuase the game is epic as balls. In any event, I have decided to drop some knowlege on you in the form of some of my current favorite rap related shizz.

"My President's Black; My Lambo's Blue"



"Get Money"

Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi!

And this is what I spent my day on while at work yesterday: