Every article about twitter starts the same.
"If you don't know what twitter is, it's a microblogging site, in which users (including me, har har har) are asked one simple question-- what are you doing right now. They have 140 characters to answer. Sounds simple, right? Well that's the beauty of it, and it's what has made Twitter the fastest growing social networking site of 2009"
I'll add the caveat that
I'm on twitter, before I continue. I also have a facebook, two blogs, an account with fark, gamespot, opentable, Stumbleupon, and a half dozen other sites.. Sometimes I comment on 4chan too. Most of the other sites I belong to have a unique funtion, but twitter doesn't. I also only actually know about 5 or 6 of my twitter buddies in real life, so the status update is not really much of an ego-feeder for me.
Roger Ebert recently wrote an article about twitter that is a mix of brilliant insight and "hey you kids, stop playin' grab ass and get off my lawn" stupidity, so you can read that and hear all about how Twitter is kind of vain and stupid and mindnumbing. That's not my beef. My real problem with twitter is that it doesn't really work for what it's supposed to do.
Facebook, by keeping wallposts, and pictures, and videos, and a hundred other things, allows you to stay in touch with people. It's a weak association, but I can still have a vague idea of what the guy I used to sit next to in algebra class is up to these days. In our increasingly fragmented society, this is I guess what passes for friendship. Twitter doesn't help with that really.
What am I doing?
sitting on my ass, getting my portfolio together, wasting time.
Same as a lot of people. A lot of the time, what I'm doing is just song lyrics. Right now I'm plugging this blog. The snapshots twitter gives you are so small as to be unrecognizable. It's like facebook for dummies, and facebook is already for dummies. It kind of reminds me of those
jitterbug phones they have for seniors. That's what twitter is for social networking.
Twitter does work very well as an RSS feed, allowing you to keep up with a number of blogs in one place. The sites I follow aren't generally my favorites, just ones I tend to forget to follow up on. That way, I am alerted when
lovely package or
high snobiety have something new and cool.
Twitter is useless for keeping up with people, and I'm sure that if I looked into it I could find a better RSS feed compiler.
Fine,
there are lots of uselss sites.
Lots of them.
No, like a lot.
The difference? Those sites aren't being rammed down our throats. The media, is so enamored with twitter that, if it ever was cool, it sure as shit isn't now. The problem is that they completely missed the boat on social networking, jumping on the bandwagon after the story was about three years old. They didn't want to be
Ric Romero again, so when Twitter came along they reported the hell out of it. Everyday,
a twitter story appears on the news, on fark, on digg. It's forced and it's false. In my marketing classes, we hear all about it, how it's the next big thing. If it were the next big thing, more than two people in a class of fifty would be on it.
Twitter kind of sucks, and it's kind of okay, and it annoys me that I have to write about it, contributing to the phenomenon that I am so irritated by. Twitter itself is not worth talking about. The yellow journalism that created it, is.
TL;DR-- fuck twitter.
(image credit:
Banksy)
